A reflection on 30 years of life 

30 by 30 lessons

30 days from now I will be turning 30 years. It feels surreal. It’s been 3 decades. Where did the time go, I was celebrating my 18th birthday 5 years ago. I feel calm something I wasn’t expecting, mostly because of society’s standards, we aren’t going down that road today. Or maybe we should. Where I come from, a female is expected to be married by 30. I mean 30 is that age where you should have everything figured out,  married maybe expecting baby number 2, a business running, and some side hustles.
It’s good to have all this but If you haven’t accomplished these things at a certain age there is absolutely no need to be hard on yourself. We have different paths in life if what you did was to survive then that’s enough.  Let’s get into it then.

1. Trust your gut feeling, I call mine the Holy Spirit. Listen to your conscience. Your body and your mind can pick up on things that don’t make sense to you. The last time I didn’t listen to my gut I was almost kidnapped.

2. It’s okay to be vulnerable, It’s okay to cry. Embrace your sad days but do not dwell on them. I am an overthinker I live in my head. I make myself sad by imagining things that would never happen. Wake up every day with the thought that something good is going to happen to you. It’s ok to be sad on some days.

3. Galatians 6:4, let me quote it for you I know you weren’t going to open it.
‭‭“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else,”

You know that famous quote, Comparison is the thief of joy. You are doing a disservice to your soul. There will never be anyone like you. My Pastor always says this to me that no one laughs and speaks like you. No one fills the room like you. Embrace your own path and focus on your progress. You are capable and worthy of it.

4. Choices, the beauty of life. Make the right choices in life. Take your time before making a decision. I once accepted a job offer at face value, it didn’t end well with me. Your choices will either make you or break you. There is something that Viktor E. Frankl said in his book; Man’s Search for Meaning. Read the next quote slowly and remember it every time you want to make a decision.
“Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!”

5. Accept that everything passes. People come and go. Anyone has the right to fall out of love with you. It is human nature to dearly hold onto what we love and cherish but when people fall out of love with you  there is nothing you can do to change their minds. Do not set yourself up for betrayal.

6. Love and cherish your parents the most. I haven’t seen mine in 5 years and I can’t hold it together anymore.

7. Live in the moment, make peace with your past. We don’t have the time that we think we have. I thought I was going to spend my whole life with my sister in a foreign land but she died in the process of making this dream come true.

8. Someone’s effort is a reflection of their interest in you and this goes beyond relationships. If they wanted to they could have.

9. Take care of yourself, eat healthily, and exercise regularly. As a nurse, I can’t stress this enough. We might argue about costs, but it’s even more expensive to get sick. Take a walk. I love watching the sunset, I do chase sunsets as part of my exercise.

10. Embrace your inner beauty. I recite Psalms 51:10 regularly. I ask God to create a clean heart in me. Beauty isn’t all about the outer appearance but a light in the heart. Feed your soul with moments of peace, gratitude, and reflection. Nurture yourself. 

11. If the resources permit live abroad just once. I have learned more about life in the last 5 years than I ever did when I stayed with my parents.  I have learned so much about myself. I know my strengths and limits. I have grown.

12. Don’t compromise, know your worth. The right ones will meet you where you are. Every time I lowered my standards to meet someone on their level I ended up paying for it.

13. Laugh as much as possible, a good use of your data might be checking out funny memes. Listen to old songs that give you that nostalgic feeling, it will change your mood. I listen to old-school music a lot. Play Leonard Dembo, Macheso, and 2BG watch my mood go from 0 to 100.

14. Communicate well,  tell people how you feel. Not everyone is going to get it, some people are slow. That nonchalant behavior isn’t attractive.

15. Leave when a promise turns into a sorry. A conversation about your feelings shouldn’t end in an argument.

16. Be kind to yourself. Remember the heart pumps blood to itself first. 

17. If you hate your job, quit it. 

18. Patience is a virtue.

19. Failure is success in progress. Failure is the trigger that gets you on track and back in the right direction.

20. Read books, watch documentaries, be open-minded. Know what’s happening around you. Don’t live in a bubble.

21. Dress well and smell nice. Being told I smell nice by my patients is such a confidence booster for me. 

22. Be trustworthy. Stand with your values. Let people count on you.

23. Learn to say No.

24. Tell people how you feel about them.

25. Take naps, please take naps. Remember when Elijah was suicidal he took a nap and later had snacks. Jesus took a nap in the boat, and read how the Psalmist talks about a beautiful sleep. 

 I love this quote from James Baldwin, “Throw everything out of your mind…read a little, sleep. The world will still be here when you wake up, and there’ll still be everything left to do.”

26. Forgiveness doesn’t guarantee access again. Reconciliation requires two people and forgiveness requires one. Do not let an unspoken apology or broken relationship keep you from experiencing the joy and freedom of forgiveness.

27. Just because you have known someone for that long it doesn’t guarantee that they love you. Remember people buy cats to just get rid of rats. 

28. Life isn’t fair, it doesn’t always go the way we want. You might do everything right and end up not making it. I am not saying this to make you lose hope but that’s the reality of it. We all have to make peace with it. Do the best you can,make your goals flexible.

29. Set boundaries whether they are colleagues, friends, or family.  I have built walls so high. I am not easily accessible, it saves me time and I don’t have to deal with unnecessary people.

30. Never stop believing in God. Have a relationship with him work out your salvation. Pray. I know some days its hard some nights are heavy. I write down my prayers when I am too overwhelmed to speak. Sometimes the prayers are poorly formed, and the scriptures aren’t quoted correctly. The power of prayer lies in one who hears it and not in the one who says it.

My birthday is on the 12th of December and I am expecting the SV Carmel Edition or maybe a Range Rover velar.