Consistency!

What are your biggest challenges?

I haven’t written anything on this blog for about five months. I’m not entirely sure what happened—I just stopped. Life got busy, motivation faded, and somehow writing slipped into the background. But I’m back now.

This year, I’ve set a new goal for myself: to write something every single day. The same goes for journaling. I truly hope I stick to it. I pray I do, because writing has always been a place of clarity and honesty for me. It helps me process my thoughts, my growth, and even my struggles.

I want so much for myself this year. I feel hopeful, determined, and ready to show up for my own life in a more intentional way.

Looking back, last year was beautiful in its own way. I grew a lot, learned important lessons, and even earned a few titles 🙂. More importantly, my relationship with God became stronger, and that alone made the year meaningful. Through the highs and the quiet moments, I felt grounded and grateful.

As this new year begins, I’m choosing consistency, faith, and self-belief. This blog is part of that journey, and I’m excited to see where it leads.

Here’s to new goals, renewed commitment, and becoming the best version of myself—one day at a time. 🥂

Compliments of the new season fam🫶🏿 may God perfect all that concerns you .

Holding On Through Time: Faith When Life Doesn’t Go As Planned

Life has a way of moving forward whether we are ready for it or not. Time does not pause for our brokenness, our waiting seasons, or even our prayers. Often, we catch ourselves thinking, “Maybe I’ll start when things get better… when the right time comes.” But the truth is, there is rarely a “perfect” time. We either step out now—in faith, in hope, in resilience—or we let life pass us by.

There’s a quiet pain we rarely talk about: what happens when prayers seem unanswered? When the dreams we envisioned, the wealth we hoped for, the milestones we prayed earnestly over, do not unfold as we expected? It feels like a wound we silently carry, whispering to ourselves, “But I prayed… why didn’t it happen?”

Yet even here, in the ache of unmet expectations, there is a call not to give up.

The Bible reminds us:

“We walk by faith, not by sight.” — 2 Corinthians 5:7

Faith is not only believing when things go well, but choosing to keep believing when they don’t. It’s writing the same prayer request again and again on the vision board, even when another year has passed without seeing it fulfilled. It’s holding on to God’s hem—messy, tired, and worn—trusting that He still holds our story.

Jesus Himself said:

“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” — John 16:33

This means that the presence of trouble, delays, and detours does not mean the absence of God. His silence does not mean His absence. His “not yet” does not mean “never.”

So whatever chaos you’re living through right now—whether it feels unbearable, confusing, or simply exhausting—don’t let go. Don’t stop praying. Don’t stop hoping. The timing may not look like you imagined, but the promise of God still stands.

Isaiah 40:31 reminds us:

“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

Waiting is hard. Believing again after disappointment is harder. But strength is born in the waiting, and faith is refined in the fire of patience.

So hold on. Even in the mess. Even in the silence. Keep praying, keep believing, and keep holding His hem.

Because one day, when the time is right, you will see why the waiting mattered.

Near to God, Close to Home

“I want my blog to be a small light in a noisy world — a place where hope feels real and grounded, not sugar-coated or out of reach. Here, I share pieces of my life: the books that have shaped me, the sermons I dream of teaching one day, and the lessons God continues to write on my heart. My prayer is that this space brings you back to what matters, reminds you that God is near, and shows that faith isn’t just for Sundays — it’s for everyday life, in both the ordinary and the extraordinary.”

In the Shadows of Her Love

Words fail me when I try to talk about the woman who brought me into this world. I greatly appreciate my father, but my mother, my best friend, God blessed me twice with her.

Growing up, I used to hate sharing her with other people. But now that I’m older, I understand. Those girls in my dorm at boarding school needed her, too. The girls she picked from church to stay with us needed a mother. My uncles needed an aunt.

How can someone have such a big heart and yet have suffered so much loss in life?

Her dad died when she was very young. Her studies were cut short. She had me when she wasn’t even an adult. I’m 31 now, and when I think back to what I was doing at 19, I want to crash out — I was just trying to find my path. But she already had me. She had to stay at home and take care of me. Then came my siblings.

I often think about her dreams and talents, the life she could have lived. The dreams she had to let go so that my siblings and I could have a comfortable home.

She was the parent who was always home. The parent who showed up everywhere — school activities and all. I used to have migraine headaches, and I remember this one Saturday afternoon I couldn’t even lift my head. Mom prayed, heavens moved, and in that prayer, I could feel her agony. The headache was gone right after the prayer.

She still prays for me. Wakes me up to pray. We pray, we cry, we laugh together.

She is my heart in human form.

I don’t know how she does it. I lost a sibling five years ago, and I crashed for two straight years. She lost three brothers in a short span and a daughter — yet she’s still standing and still comforting us.

Lord, how did you create my mother?

I want God to bless me. There’s so much I want to do for my mother.

Women in the Bible: Ruth

A Reflection on Ruth

I am currently listening to Rute by Mai Charamba, a renowned gospel artist from Zimbabwe. I grew up with her music, and it has deeply impacted my life. A few weeks ago, I found myself reading what I consider the greatest love story in the Bible: the story of Ruth and Boaz.

Almost every wedding invitation I saw as a child featured Ruth 1:16:

But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go, I will go, and where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.”

I’ve often wondered why Ruth refused to stay in Moab. It would have made sense—after all, it was familiar, it was home. But then she said, “Your God, my God.” That was the turning point.

Ruth was willing to forsake the Moabite gods she grew up with and embrace the God of Israel. She made a bold decision to follow the LORD. This Gentile woman, once far from God, chose to draw near to Him. Naomi’s life was far from easy—she lost her husband and then her two sons. She was so devastated that she changed her name from Naomi (which means “pleasant”) to Mara (which means “bitter”). And yet, Ruth still chose Naomi’s God.

I long for the kind of revelation Ruth had and a mother-in-law like Naomi.

Chapter one ends with Naomi and Ruth arriving in Bethlehem. It may feel like the end of their journey, but really, it’s the beginning of something extraordinary. God can accomplish amazing things—for now and for eternity—when we turn toward Him, not just with our emotions, but with our actions.

A Thousand Splendid Suns Review

Mariam wished for so much in those final moments. Yet as she closed her eyes, it was not regret any longer but a sensation of abundant peace that washed over her. She thought of her entry into this world, the harami child of a lowly villager, an unintended thing, a pitiable, regrettable accident. A weed. And yet she was leaving the world as a woman who had loved and been loved back. She was leaving it as a friend, a companion, a guardian. A mother. A person of consequence at last. No. It was not so bad, Mariam thought, that she should die this way. Not so bad. This was a legitimate end to a life of illegitimate belongings.

Even after a month, I still haven’t fully recuperated from the emotional blow of this book. It was painful and heartbreaking, but quite beautiful in a devastating way. This book gracefully navigates through the landscape of pain, revealing the hidden beauty that exists even amid despair. It was heart-wrenching but also uplifting that even against all odds, a glimmer of hope shines through. There is something to hope for and to live for.

Mariam was an illegitimate(harami) daughter of a wealthy man. She endured neglect and ignorance from her own family for 15 long years. It actually gets worse when she is forced to marry a scumbag, Rasheed.
A man twice her age, and he viewed women merely as baby-making machines. Rasheed’s character is portrayed as an absolute disgrace, subjecting Mariam to abuse, rape, and continuous insult due to her inability to bear children throughout their marriage. The abuse scenes are gruesome, I cried so hard. Mariam’s resilience shines through, demonstrating that despite life’s hardships, maintains kindness and love for the people around her.

Her life is intertwined with that of Laila. A young  girl whose life takes drastic turn because of war and she ends up in the same calamity with Mariam. To Laila there is Tariq his sweetheart but she is now married to the Ignorant Rasheed and it can only gets worse from here.

In the end Mariam makes the last and ultimate sacrifice for Laila and her children, granting them the opportunity for a free and happy life with Laila’s love, Tariq.  

 

The F word

Daily writing prompt
If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, which one would it be? Why?
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I can’t stand this word—every swear word, literally. I could not date someone because they swore in every sentence. I tried but every time they said the F or S word I used to get scared, it felt like they were cussing me out.

What happened to using the right words? We are grown now. Speak properly and stop using the word like in everything.

Resentment

Isn’t it weird that it’s possible to love and resent someone simultaneously? Resentment is a buildup of negative emotions such as anger, frustration, and disappointment. It often comes from feeling like you’ve been wronged. Signs include behavior such as withdrawing and acting out. Here is my thing my heart has forgiven but my mind can not let go of the unanswered questions, at this point It’s no longer about them but me trying to make sense out of the absurd.

I am the most forgiving person but I have one problem, I don’t forget disrespect. I don’t hold grudges but time passing doesn’t mean an apology; I will remind you of your crap and hold you accountable for it.
At some point, I used to confuse resentment with unforgiveness and boundaries with grudges. But boundaries are for me grudges for them. Boundaries are a declaration of choosing myself. They allow me to check in and know what I want and need in relationships. They keep me safe and I am good at setting them.

Yeah, we know the mantra forgiveness is for you, not them. Do you know how hard it is to forgive someone who did not apologize? To forgive someone who keeps hurting you. To forgive despite not fully understanding. But you have to. At your own pace. Forgiveness sounds great in theory until your brain keeps replaying the emotional receipts. Healing is messy.

Summer and Exams

Daily writing prompt
What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months?
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I have my final exams soon and want to enjoy summer without exam stress. Germany has crazy weather. There was a year we had summer for two weeks, and the rest was a little sun mixed with storms. I miss the long nights. And it won’t be dark anymore.

I promised myself to go out a lot this summer, God willing we gonna be outside a lot. The body is tea now so summer he I comeeeee.