Isn’t it weird that it’s possible to love and resent someone simultaneously? Resentment is a buildup of negative emotions such as anger, frustration, and disappointment. It often comes from feeling like you’ve been wronged. Signs include behavior such as withdrawing and acting out. Here is my thing my heart has forgiven but my mind can not let go of the unanswered questions, at this point It’s no longer about them but me trying to make sense out of the absurd.
I am the most forgiving person but I have one problem, I don’t forget disrespect. I don’t hold grudges but time passing doesn’t mean an apology; I will remind you of your crap and hold you accountable for it.
At some point, I used to confuse resentment with unforgiveness and boundaries with grudges. But boundaries are for me grudges for them. Boundaries are a declaration of choosing myself. They allow me to check in and know what I want and need in relationships. They keep me safe and I am good at setting them.
Yeah, we know the mantra forgiveness is for you, not them. Do you know how hard it is to forgive someone who did not apologize? To forgive someone who keeps hurting you. To forgive despite not fully understanding. But you have to. At your own pace. Forgiveness sounds great in theory until your brain keeps replaying the emotional receipts. Healing is messy.
A public diary. 